Over the past 6 weeks I have intentionally been doing an accelerated 12 Strands DNA recoding project, from Council of Nibiru, with Jelaila Starr.I have been Video logging it on my yoututbe channel, Sabrina BrightSTar
This is the first time, that I feel more comfortable writing, instead of verbally sharing in front of camera.
The past few weeks, I have been flowing along smoothly with the 12 Strands project. I assumed the worst was over. Then, I got hit with the biggest most emotional deep rooted, lifetime after lifetime pattern.
There is this person, I don't know him very well. Yet, ever since meeting him, I find I am triggered by him. Some of the triggers were fun and enjoyable, yet most of the triggers are painful.
I kept telling myself to stop talking to him, yet, I found myself, continually going back for more contact. It made no sense to me. It felt almost as if, I was under a spell.
Again, one day, I went back for more contact. He dismissed me. The odd thing about this connection is, he is not a communicator. He leaves conversations unfinished, then ignores discussing what happened. Logically, I see clearly we have no communication compatibility. Yet, I am drawn to keep trying to communicate with him.
The other day, I got triggered again. I was sitting in frustration, trying to figure out, what the hell is going on with me? Why can't I walk away? What is the lesson?
I hear in my head, he is a Representative. He is representing a pattern, a repeating pattern that I have had for many lifetimes. I hear in my head, to write a list of what I don't like about him.
As, I wrote the list, I hear in my head.....Who else has this pattern? Where else have you witnessed this pattern.
Can you guess the answer?
My father.
Do you know what the pattern is? Do you know what the addictive behavior that I was chasing is?
A person who is Emotionally Unavailable!
Yep, there it was, staring at me on a piece of paper.
Emotional Unavailable!
Now, the next step of the formula of compassion is to see the mirror. How is this mirroring me?
I hear in my head, "are you emotional unavailable to yourself?" No way!, I instantly disagree with this question.
Then I start to see images of myself, ignoring, running away or hiding from emotions. I read, eat, drink or sleep to avoid emotions. I can feel the surface emotions easily, yet the deep rooted, painful emotions, I avoid.
Damn ~ this is not what I was expecting. I am in shock as I realize, I attract people who are emotional unavailable to me, because I am emotional unavailable to myself. That is the mirror.
I hear in my head the question, "Do you have the courage to feel deep emotions?" "Do you have the guts to allow raw emotions to surface without running into your happiness bubble?'
Double Damn! I was able to see the mirror clearly. Ok, after taking a deep breath, I decided I would tackle this pattern. Before, I agreed to allow the emotions to fully surface, I made a few demands. I told my higher self, "if I agree to feel the full range of my emotions, I am going to need support. I asked for a boat load of unseen friends to come to assist me." I asked for Angels, fairies, animals totems, mineral kingdom, crystal kingdom, Star brothers and sisters and anyone else who would be willing to step forward to assist me. Then, I got feisty, and told my team "I demand to be greatly rewarded for agreeing to this process!"
I am not sure what made me make those depends, I guess on some level, I knew I was about to enter an emotional hell. Within, hours of agreeing to feel my emotions, I got hit with feelings, memories of childhood, past relationships, former friends, etc. The tears started falling, and falling and falling.
My children witnessed my emotional releasing. I didn't hide it from them. They both came to me, and they took turns holding me in their arms and I poured out my pain, hurt and sadness. They tenderly loved me, as if they were my parents. When we all thought I had finally cried my last tear, another round of feelings flooded in, and the break down continued.
Toward the end of it, I could actually see their hurt patterns being released too. It surprised me, as I could feel, my allowing these intense emotions, I was clearing painful patterns we all 3 carry.
I know one of the reason we do 12 Strands of DNA recoding, is because, as each one of us agrees to clear, we make it easier for collective. Each one of us, helps the whole collective, so we can clear easier and faster.
I could feel my courage to feel this emotional raw pain, was assisting the Universe. Seeing it in my household first hand, was mind blowing.
I am very close to my children, yet I can honestly share, this experience took us to a whole new level of connection. I wasn't expecting to see the wonderful side effects so quickly.
I finally went to sleep. That night, I dreamed a legion of Angels came to me. I was wrapped in white cloth, and there was an army of Angels surrounding me. My two children, were amongst the group of Angels. The next day, I woke up feeling pretty normal. Thank Goddess! A few hours after I was up, I recalled my dream. I then, heard in my head, that my two children, are here as incarnated Angels. They are 24/7 visible reminders that I am fully supported from the other realms. My heart busted open with love!
All morning, I have been seeing a dark green Porsche in my minds eye. I am not a car person, yet the visual makes me feel it has something to do with the reward I asked for. Perhaps it symbolizes speedy healing? I am not certain, yet I am going to easily accept whatever gifts the Universe wants to deliver me!
I feel normal, yet new now. I feel like I did it! I allowed myself metaphorically to be crucified emotionally. I felt the pain of all the old patterns and programs. I busted out of the mirror, and I broke the spell of Emotional Unavailable patterns.
p.s . I wanted to also share, as an adult, esp. the past few years, my father has become emotionally available. We have a wonderful relationship today.
12 Strands DNA recoding can be found at Jelaila Starr's website
http://www.nibiruancouncil.com/html/recodeoverviewarticle.html
No comments:
Post a Comment